While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
