so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
