I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
