whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
