OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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