white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
