Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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