I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
