Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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