Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize