Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
