i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
