the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
