Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
