what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
