So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
