So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
