Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
