I need help removing her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
