Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I didn't shave. On purpose
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it hurts more in the daytime
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize