Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
