Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
