I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
