it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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