I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
