Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize