Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drake has all the answers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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