I puked a lego.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize