we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize