the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
