I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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