Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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