Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
