ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
