i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Four minutes until I can fart!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
