a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
