Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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