uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
