She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
