I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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