some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
