I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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