i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
