my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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