That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
