We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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