I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
