Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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