we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize