she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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