When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
