No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just found a bag of teeth...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
