youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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