I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
