last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
