I can tuck mytits in my pants
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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