You're my little dorito
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
