THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
