morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
