I faked an abortion last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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