Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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